Archives for the month of: February, 2013

My colleagues and I have been dismayed by the vast quantity of polemic, disinformation, and Truth through Repetition (TtR) that is rotting the cycling journalism community from within. As a service to the rubes (we simply refuse to use the term ‘folks’ as we find that term to be very patronizing) of the cycling community who seek wisdom in the printed word rather than actual experience, we are launching our own voice in the wilderness, Randonneur Poseur.

  • To highlight the nature of our wisdom the paper will be yellow.
  • To minimize costs and distractions the images provided will be in sepia tone.
  • To maximize the transfer of valuable information we will feature watercolors that are optimized to demonstrate beauty and function that photography simply cannot match.

True, my colleagues and I are prone to hurtful bickering, bizarre outbursts of song, and lengthy bouts of pouting in silence, but I am certain that we will serve the rubes of the cycling community well.

Folks, to become intermittently enlightened direct your favorite browser here.

I will be observing my Lenten vow of not blogging for the next 40 days – be strong folks, be strong.

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Everyone who knows me personally is familiar with my magnetic genius for Captaining, Directing, and Controlling and they also are continually fascinated with my wonderful widgets of Randonnengineering for bicycles and nutrition.

Cut and paste the words ‘soma light bracket’ into your favorite web search engine and note the great forces of capitalism working their flawed magic with one of my simpler innovations. Flawed I say because it really does not work very well; a copy of my genius will never ever be as good as me, The Original.

Go ahead – pay your $20 for that thing and get frustrated because it sucks.

Spending $20 on a deluxe hacksaw and 50 cents on a used centerpull brake from the recycle bin of any bicycle shop is a much better investment of your money. You get a nice hacksaw, two light mounts for you and your loved ones and some random nuts and bolts to clutter up your house. The only thing of higher value is spending $20 on a pitcher of beer and sharing it with me.

Granted, not all of my randonnengineering solutions are universally accepted. My mixture of Beer and Perpetuum that gets me through all of the longer Randonnees does cause explosive flatulence (and severe cramps in some) and my cherry perfumed Bag Balm was a flop (I have a five gallon bucket full if you need some).

If you wish to see more of my genius, order a copy of my new coffee table book and peruse the many images displaying my optimized randonneuse’s. Order before March 31 and receive an autographed hand drawn picture of my new bicycle! Select few will receive the copy that displays many new inventions when viewed under a black light! Order Now!

sorry Red - cars kill everything - 25 years old

Red

I met Red one dark night in the headlands where I escorted he and his bicycle touring friend to the Bicentennial Campsite. Red was from Wisconsin and a year later he was working at Box Dog. Now Red is gone forever.